Comments on: This is India! 37

By: Reena

Reena — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 23:44:13 +0000

Oh I forgot to add one of my ivy league college experience where one called me the Girl with terrorist vibes in public without knowing me at all just because I looked brown! I am a Hindu and Brown female from India!

Jerks and creeps are everywhere!

By: Reena

Reena — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 23:32:42 +0000

Also I think you left US too early before all the online dating scene! White American Men also do weird things with brown females (I am assuming doing with all other females too) on dating sites! At least you are not getting bombarded with d**k pics! or they don’t call you look like Mia Khalifa a p**n star even after telling them I am not from Lebanon! or call you a Muslim just because you look brown or know few Urdu words even after telling I am from India and Hindu! Or ask how many drinks will it take before I start dancing on Bollywood songs or call you brown sugar, Curry or Spicy!!They think it’s OK if they are not saying it in person! Sometimes will call themselves White Gentlemen and next second will ask a weird racial question!

By: Reena

Reena — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 23:30:34 +0000

Yes it was kind of weird but not uncommon from Indian men both with good intentions and bad intentions.Your response was totally fine! But since females generally are taught to be not too friendly with strangers so they generally may not call you up like that!

But I want to tell you Indian people are generally more friendly as by now you must have heard the Sanskrit phrase “Athithi Devo Bhava” translating to “Guest are like God”! If you go to a common Indian house people will make extra effort (what they can afford of course) to make sure you are comfortable and all! It’s generally true for all guests and will talk very frankly about topics which you may not be very comfortable like religion? how much are you earning? It’s okay to give a polite smile and change the topic in such situations! It’s the cultural norm to treat your guests very generously in India! I wish the same philosophy could be adopted by Indian professionals too!

By: Elen

Elen — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:24:58 +0000

In reply to Rachel Jones. Well, I learnt the hard way when I took a guy in India at face value (ie, I thought he was being a creep and lying to me) and when I got to know him better I realised that wasn't the case at all. But then, feeling bad about being so judgmental, I opened myself up to future friendships and realised that my initial misgivings were actually serving me well (ie, many guys ARE creeps!) So, it's a no-win situation really!

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 06:36:42 +0000

In reply to Elen. I like your open-mindedness. It's refreshing! I get jaded from the encounters I have on a regular basis, so it's hard to think that way anymore.

By: Elen

Elen — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 15:50:12 +0000

While I agree with pretty much everything that has been written above, what about if we look at it from another angle- that perhaps it isn’t just Indian men who are interested in foreign women (‘interested’ could be innocent, or it could be creepy, or it could be somewhere in between) but that they are the only ones who find it socially acceptable to approach foreign women. So Indian women may be just as interested in you/me/the next person, but are too worried by how it would look, what their friends/family might think etc. So, although yes Indian men do sometimes have some funny ideas (had plenty of experiences myself!) perhaps a little more generosity towards their intentions might sometimes be warranted.

By: De'Jav

De'Jav — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 12:03:19 +0000

Definitely a little out there getting random calls. I’d say it’s because you’re a foreigner and a woman everyone wants something different. A woman wouldn’t call I don’t think it is in their interest for something more. They probably would just ask you to go out. I’m sure there is plenty though that keeps you there.

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:26:32 +0000

In reply to Sonja Riemenschneider. I agree that it doesn't really matter what culture. it's not cool and they should be aware.

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:25:46 +0000

In reply to TJ. wow that's crazy!! lol

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:21:56 +0000

In reply to Jen. google voice is a good idea, I was actually looking into setting that up the other day but couldn't figure out how. I got my cards made in panjim... cannot think of the name but near bombay bazaar store

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:20:34 +0000

In reply to venus john. I like how you start with Indian men are weird.. heheh it's a shame they have such a wrong mentality about women

By: Rachel Jones

Rachel Jones — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 10:18:35 +0000

In reply to Tim | UrbanDuniya. yes, inhibitions DO go out the window

By: Tim | UrbanDuniya

Tim | UrbanDuniya — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 00:18:34 +0000

It’s partly what you’re thinking, and it’s partly an overconfidence thing… I get that from desi men too, and I’m not a woman! It seems simply by being a foreigner, you’re such a novelty that all inhibitions go out the window. However there is definitely an element of what you’re suggesting, and it’s creepy as all hell…

By: venus john

venus john — Sat, 14 Feb 2015 08:15:26 +0000

indian men are weird..and even if an indian girl gives her card with phone number on it,that is seen as a green signal,to call up the girl and chat..i have got those calls too..
I got a call once from a guy saying that he saw my phone number on the internet..and thtys why he called..it was as if I my phone number is on the internet,then I am asking for it..it doesn’t matter on which website and why my phone number was there..
what is not said and is supposed to be understood by all is in ‘indian culture’ good girls don’t give out their phone numbers..if you make your phone number public,you are obviously ‘loose’ and you have invited trouble upon yourself..

By: Jessica @Triple T Travels

Jessica @Triple T Travels — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 23:15:47 +0000

That is so strange! Who does that? Obviously a business card is a professional connection. You should only call if you have an inquiry about working with them or something.

By: Emma | banquets and backpacks

Emma | banquets and backpacks — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 20:46:55 +0000

I think western women are seen as more promiscuous and willing. Foreign men see our overly sexed movies and music videos and believe we all behave in this way. I had a strange man in Thailand openly ask me to ‘sex him’ and upon hearing me say No! with disgust, shouted for the whole trainstation to hear that “I was nothing! A nobody!” If anything I supose the conversations make for great stories!

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 19:10:12 +0000

Unfortunately this happens no matter where you are in the world. This is why I use a google voice number for everything and it is connected to my gmail account. I first get the call (I set it up so it shows that it is a google voice call) if it is not a number I recognize or anticipating then I ignore it and they can leave a voice message. I can then later review the message on my phone later, google transcribe the message so I can just read the message rather than listen to it since sometimes that is just easier. I have gotten to the point I just don’t trust random strangers with anything. I had this one guy on LinkedIn who kept on messaging me that he loved my smile and I should keep on smiling – creepy.

btw, where did you get the biz cards made? I am very intrigued on getting some made when I go to Goa. Thanks.

By: TJ

TJ — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 16:28:12 +0000

Really weird, those are the people to avoid. ‘Stranger Danger!’ I have known a couple girls that got personal calls In the US from handing out there business cards. I had a middle aged gay man call me randomly several times. He got my number when I gave it to the retail store and he was the the employee who took it. This happened around 2008. I last heard from him a year and a half ago.

By: Sonja Riemenschneider

Sonja Riemenschneider — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 14:15:50 +0000

That is definitely creepy. I’ve had the same thing happen when I’ve handed out business cards for my blog. I had chatted for like 2 minutes with a middle aged man from Japan, and he wanted to read my blog, so I gave him my card. After that, he sent me a bunch of emails asking how the rest of my travels were and if he could come visit me in the US. Umm… I don’t care what culture you are from – no one flies across the country to visit someone they met for 2 minutes just to be friends.

I think you did the right thing – make them feel uncomfortable and end the conversation quickly.